It's pretty ironic that I work so hard to teach my children to share when so often I don't want to practice sharing myself.  Being a stay at home mom to two toddlers, I really get tired of having to share everything. 

I have to share my time.  I get very few moments to myself.  I potty with little eyes staring at me.  I bathe with little eyes staring at me.  I don't get to watch what I want to on TV.  In the car, I have to listen to my kids' DVD instead of getting to listen to the radio.  My kids won't even let me read; when I try they take the book from me.

I have to share my food.  This one really bugs me.  I've always been a little strange about my eating habits.  I don't like anyone touching my food.  I never even liked sharing my food with my husband and won't eat after him.  Now I have 4 little toddler hands that touch and grab at everything on my plate.  Earlier today I ate a sandwich and chips.  My 3 year old loves chips and as soon as she saw them, started eating away.  Out of the handful of chips I put on my plate I got to eat 2.

I have to share my body.  First, I shared my body with baby for 9 months of pregnancy.  Then I shared my body with baby for more than a year with breastfeeding.  Once my kids were old enough to toddle around, they began to constantly climb, jump, or tug on me.  Since becoming a mom, it feels like I no longer have any authority over my body any more.

I have to share my husband.  Our oldest is 3 years old.  Since she's been born we haven't been to a dinner and a movie once, something we used to do once a week before kids.  We have been to see 7 movies since becoming parents, but it's always the movie then straight home.  We've only been out to dinner 3 times since becoming parents.  That's really been hard on me.  I miss going out with my husband, having his undivided attention.  Even on a smaller scale, when he comes home each day he blows right past me and gushes over both kids.

While a lot of this sharing seems petty and small, it does add up day after day.  For example, I miss getting to play the piano.  I don't even try any more because my toddlers start banging away and won't let me play.  Sometimes the endless sharing feels like it crosses the line into disrespect like now that I'm a mom, me the woman no longer matters.  Nothing is just mine any more.

I'm mature enough to understand that these early years go by fast and that I should savor every moment I have with my kids while they still want my hugs and kisses, and I do.  I just share this darker side of mother hood to let you know that you aren't alone.  All of us moms feel this way.  We all get tired of being Mom 24/7 and would love for small segments of time when we get to be just a woman.

There is no shame in admitting the challenges we face in being moms.  It's much more dangerous to put on a fake smile and a facade of perfection.  The important thing is that while we ackowledge our feelings, we continue to put our families first, that we continue to give to our children and our husbands, and yes that we continue to share.